YOU'RE ENGAGED!
Now, what do I do? How do I decide?
I've been in your EXACT shoes, right where you are right now. Do you elope, do you have a wedding, go traditional, go unique, how do I make a decision and what is right? I'm here to tell you that your wedding day, it can be WHATEVER you want it to be. Italy elopement in the wine country, DONE. Mountain top sunset in Yosemite, DONE. Court house runaway with Boston rooftop dance club send off, DONE. I'm here to help you understand these decisions and capture all your moments, turning your dreams to reality.
Now what?
You’re going to get asked the same questions once your become engaged...
- When’s the wedding?
- Where are you getting married?
- Have you picked a venue yet?
- When are you getting your dress?
... and probably many more, but THAT’S OKAY!
People get excited about new positive chapters in your life and it's okay to not know whats next. I’m here to help you decide if the “show” is just too much or if “traditional” is the way to go. One step at a time.
Reflect & Discuss
Your partner is the first big key to this decision. Here’s some big questions to consider & ask them:
- Do they care about the wedding day or not?
- How involved do they want to be in the planning?
- Do they have a dream wedding or vision for their wedding?
- How important is it to have family and/or friends at the ceremony?
- What are your financial constraints for a wedding/elopement?
- What about a hybrid? Intimate ceremony, big party?
Stand Strong
The outside pressure can be a lot and EVERYONE has an opinion. Again, all normal and typical behavior, but knowing what you like and how you want to celebrate your day can help you set boundaries with the people you love.
Its your WEDDING DAY!!! So, get excited and get ready to tailor a day that matches the love, style and story of you and your partner. Don’t worry, I’m here to help you!
There is no RIGHT or WRONG answer here.
Whether you elope or have a traditional wedding, it's what you want.
Shelby Bernice
Why Do People Choose to ELOPE?
It is no strange concept that eloping seems to be much easier than a traditional wedding and there is truth in that. There are also a few other main reasons that are explored by many couples that contribute to the decision to elope, rather than have a traditional wedding. Here are a few:
More personal & couple focused
Typically, less expensive
More intimate
No wedding day crazies
Adventure possibilities are endless
Photos are epic and more memorable
Once you become engaged, every couple will eventually begin having the conversations of big or small wedding, when will it be, where will it be, who can come (and who definitely cannot come), and what is the budget. It can feel overwhelming, but it can be made simple. The check boxes below are here to help you decide if eloping is a better idea for you and your partner.
I have found that this method is not fool proof and it does not put everything in stone that YOU MUST ELOPE. No, we don’t do that here. Together we discuss, reflect and make informed decisions that are best for you and your partner.
Circle What Works
Below are two columns. The left is details for ELOPING and the right is details for a TRADITIONAL WEDDING. Go through each column and circle what details that appeal to you about each category. Tally each column separately and the column (Left or Right) that has a higher tally score is the category that suits you best.*
*This exercise is subjective to every couple. This is simply a tool to help guide you through a decision process. Every elopement and wedding is unique and can be custom made in every way.
ELOPEMENT
TRADITIONAL WEDDING
Which had the higher number of
circled items?
Adventure or Keep it Simple?
Adventures can be a huge highlight for eloping. The experience of traveling to a new location, doing a crazy hike or sailing the Mediterranean can be so intimate and personal to you as a couple and there are so many memories that can be made and incorporated with that adventure. On the flip side, having a quiet morning, getting ready in your own home, running down to the court house to say your vows can be just what you need. Equally as intimate, it can also make for a great way to still incorporate family locally, or even capture where your love started. While most just assume an elopement is something crazy, spontaneous, and remote, it doesn’t have to be.
Believe me when I say that eloping can be anything and everything you want it to be. If flying to Mexico and getting married on an island is what you want, ABSOLUTELY GO FOR IT! But, If you want simple and easy with elegance, you can have that too. Choosing one over the other is not a competition, but it is an important step in the planning process. Deciding this first helps you narrow down travel and locations before you even think of dates and times.
LOCAL OR DESTINATION?
Whether you are having an adventurous elopement or going to the courthouse, the next step of your journey is to decide WHERE this is all happening. Are you staying in you home town, or are you flying/driving/sailing to your destination? While I’m a HUGE advocate for destinations, I also support anyone wanting to have a local elopement. Destinations, while unique and adventurous, also can come with a higher price tag and if you want any family there, it can take some planning for them to get there. While I would love to tell you what and where to go, this is not my love story, it’s yours. So, here are few things to consider to help you decide.
Do you want to be in your home town, some where new, or some where memorable?
Sometimes the answer is yes to all three, but really consider what you want.
If you have guests, are there any complications/restrictions to getting them to a destination?
This mainly comes down to grandma and grandpa questions. How easily can everyone travel. Is putting everyone on a boat going to be okay? Does anyone have mobility limitations?
Would you prefer a church, a venue, outside somewhere, or a little bit of all of it?
Knowing this can help you decide if staying local is more budget friendly if you're looking to incorporate certain wedding aspects.
Do you have an officiant or clergy member to officiate the ceremony?
Is there a specific person you want to officiate your wedding. If so, then this potentially creates limits on locations. If not, your doors are wide open.
How long is your marriage license good for?
Yes it matters. If it matters to you what day you get married, or what state you get married in, you need to know local laws on marriage licenses.
Will you have guests at all or will it just be you two?
Having guests can be a huge factor. Can you help get people where you want to go, or is your home town easier? Do you even want people there?
If it is a location to travel to, do you fly, drive, train, or boat to that location?
Destinations are beautiful, luxurious, and very memorable. Planning is key to making the moments less stressful and transportation to and from CANNOT be overlooked.
What is your budget?
Whether simple, extravagant, small or large, you have to have an idea of what you can afford to spend. This also helps you make decisions and realize what your NONNEGOTIABLES are.
Is it important to have photographs, video, or both?
This is your personal decision. Yes, a lot of people do both, yes it very common practice to have both, but what do you want? Just remember, you can't redo the day.
If going to another country, do you have the right resources to make sure the wedding is done correctly?
You always need to consult an expert, don't just think you can get away with it. Different countries have different laws. Make sure you are aware.
THE CHOICE IS ALWAYS YOURS
IS ELOPEMENT THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU?
If you've made it this far, then you've done more than most couples ever do. It can be a lot to consider, but the truth is, even if you change your mind, that is okay! You can dream of a big wedding but still want something small. It is okay to want both. Deciding to elope isn't the easiest decision for most, but at the end of the day, it will always come down to what you and your partner want that will make you both happy.
